Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Sourdough II {+ Plums}

I finished my last post with a promise to tell you guys how the sourdough bread turned out, fully intending at the time to do so fairly soon.  But then, stuff happened, and writing a follow-up blog post just wasn’t a high priority.  Sorry ’bout that…
I’d show you a lovely photo of the finished product, except that I don’t have one.  And honestly, the bread wasn’t lovely, anyway.  Picture in your mind a brown brick made of baked dough…
Mom liked the bread, at least.  I’m less than thrilled with the results.  Maybe I just had silly and unrealistic expectations, but I wasn’t expecting a squarish lump which tastes like kefir.  But that’s what I got.
One lady referred to sourdough starter as a pet.  O.o  So.  I have a new pet, sitting inside the fridge like a lump of dough.  I think it needs to go to obedience school.  Or cooking school.  Or maybe I’m the one needing to go to school.  Or something like that.
Anyway.  I’ll try again with the silly stuff later, and hopefully will have better results.  If not… well, at least Mom will eat it.

In other news, the little tree in our front yard which produces these lovely blossoms every year has decided to give us plums.  Lots of itsy-bitsy-kinda-sour plums.
I blanched, peeled, and pitted a good number of them this evening, and I’m not going to do that again if I can help it.  I probably got a teaspoon or less of actually fruit out of each plum, and for that much work, it just isn’t worth it.  The meager amount of fruit left is cooking in the crock pot at the moment, and I guess I’ll figure out how to make it into jam or butter or something tomorrow.
Unless I figure out some easier way to take care of the rest, though, I think that’ll be the extent of our plum harvest this year.
ANYWAY.  That’s the extent of my kitchen woes for the moment.  Now I’m going to go figure out how to get my chocolate fix… ;)

Monday, June 17, 2013


I’ve been hearing people mention the health benefits of sourdough bread for quite some time, and Mom recently read of a method which involves letting a bowl of flour and water sit on the counter for days on end in an effort to catch wild yeast and make a starter.
I’m daring enough to try my hand at making bagels, doughnuts, pita pockets, bread, and other such items, but this?  In my mind, the only thing that I’d catch would be mold spores, and I’m not really eager to do that.  So.
But then Mom obtained a sourdough starter.  Read:  I don’t have to catch the wild yeast, I just have to let it sit on the counter with flour and water and get activated.  Whatever that means…
I read the instructions several times and decided that it seemed about as straightforward as a tangled mass of yarn.  Slightly less intimidating than catching wild yeast, sure, but still rather foreign-sounding.
Letting food sit out on the counter when it’s 90° out and and we don’t have air conditioning?  Not something I normally do.
Never touching food with metal?  Sure, I’ve done this with kefir before, but half of the things in the kitchen are made with metal!  How am I to avoid it?
Feeding food?  Again, not something I’m accustomed to.  I feed food to people, but I don’t feed the food itself.  Most of the time.
Dumping half of the food so that there’s room for more ingredients?  Probably the most intimidating step of it all, as it I’ve been taught all my life not to waste food.
Nevertheless, I managed not to balk.  I pulled out some wide mouth canning jars and stuck the little packet of dehydrated starter in with the required amounts of flour and water.  I fed the stuff when instructed to, and put it in a place where it wouldn’t be disturbed, and made sure that I didn’t stir it with anything metal.
I couldn’t bring myself to just waste the excess, though.  The first time I just separated it and put into another jar, figuring that I would work two batches instead of one in case one failed.  I realized the second time, though, that this wasn’t going to be something I could do every time.  If I fed them every twelve hours and doubled my amount of jars at every feeding, in just four days I’d end up with over a hundred jars of starter.  Sure, I’m part of a large family, but we don’t eat THAT much.
So, instead of dumping that extra starter, I found a recipe that used it.  Two recipes, actually, but the idea of making cookies out of the stuff sounded too strange, so I went with the pancake recipe instead.  The result?  Failure.  The pancakes didn’t rise, didn’t even want to cook, and were not appetizing at all.
Some friends of our have a saying framed on their kitchen wall stating,  ”Even my failures are edible.”  I suppose that’s sort of true, as the chickens seemed to enjoy the pancake batter we threw at them.  Acceptable for human consumption, though?  Er… no.
In the meantime, my jars of not-yet-activated starter remained on the hutch, where I was keeping them.  I faithfully fed them everyday, and looked for the telltale bubbly-ness which was supposed to indicate that the yeast had been effectively activated.  I had some small amount, but nothing like what I was looking for.
So, off to YouTube it was for some instructional tutorials.  Halfway through one video, a light bulb went on in my head.  Oh!  OH!  Did she say two parts flour to one part water?
Yes, folks, I’d been feeding my poor starter half as much flour as it needed, which meant that it was far soggier than it should have been, and therefore, not bubbly. Oops.  This is also probably why the pancakes were such a failure…
When the next feeding time rolled around I put in the correct amount of flour, and after just a few hours, I was starting to see some bubbly-ness.  A couple more feedings, and the mixture was doubling in size from bubbly-ness, which is just what it was supposed to be doing.
The smell had me somewhat worried.  It had an unpleasantly sour odor, and didn’t smell “yeasty” to me.  Taking the mixture out of the jars it had been in and moving it to the fridge helped a bit with that aspect, though.
Then, I ran into another bit of confusion.  The recipe I was planning to use to bake the bread had instructions for how to use the starter in one way (feed the sourdough starter periodically while it’s in the fridge, pull out a lump whenever you need to bake with it) , and the instructions which came with the starter used a different method (pull out a lump of sourdough starter when you want to bake with it, then feed it for a day or two, then put part of it back in to feed the main lump and use the rest in your baking).  In the end, I went with the easier set of directions, which was the one with the recipe.
Easy is good, right?
Then, yet another bit of perplexity: am I allowed to use metal while baking with sourdough?  All of our mixing bowl are metal, how do I avoid using it?  A quick bit of research, and it seems baking with metal will be okay – I hope.
Then, FINALLY, after two or so weeks of prep work – it’s time to bake sourdough bread.  And once again, I’m in unfamiliar territory – I expect bread dough to hold it’s shape at least somewhat, and to be stretch and smooth and elastic.  This stuff?  It’s supposed to have a consistency similar to… oatmeal.  And it does, too.  I suppose I should be glad that it’s doing what it’s supposed to do, but instead, I’m annoyed about the fact that it’s supposed to be oatmeal-ish.
And now, as I write this, my porridge dough is sitting happily in three loaf pans, where it will remain for the next seven or so hours while it’s supposed to rise.
I shall come back with an update of how this ridiculous stuff turns out… later.

Monday, June 10, 2013

That Perfect Party

Ever since 2008, our country has been going downhill towards tyranny at a terrifying rate.  Before that, we had a nice guy in office for eight years, and so we never saw any increase in tyranny for that chunk of time.
The Republicans are the ” good guys”, after all.  When they bend or break the rules, we overlook it and trust that their course of action is best.  That they have the welfare of the people in mind, and would never ever in a million years abuse their authority.  Right?  Such nice people… not like those other guys who are wearing the blue ties…
Because the Democrats?  Everyone knows that they’re not going to follow the Constitution.  Get a Democrat in office, and almost every Conservative will scrutinize his actions, his every vote and controversial speech.  They use the Constitution (or what they know of it, anyway) to measure his competence, and protest vehemently when he falls woefully short of where he obviously ought be.
Get a Republican in office, however, and every one is happy and content with the condition of the country.  Because, you know, we don’t have to hold those in red ties to the Constitution – we just compare them to those in blue ties, and celebrate the fact that we were able to elect one of the good guys.  Sure, he might not be perfect… in fact, you might even call him the lesser of two evils.  Still, why would we wish to evaluate their actions in light of the Constitution?  Who are you, some sort of conspiracy theorist?
So The PATRIOT Act was passed by Bush?  What of it?  He’s fighting those nasty terrorists, who are we to criticize his methods?  Of COURSE it won’t be abused, why would you think that?
WHAT?!  You mean Obama is actually listening to our phone calls?  The tyrant!  What nerve!  How dare he think he has he right to do that?  The horrid Democrat!  Of course the PATRIOT Act was never meant to be used that way – the author himself was utterly shocked upon learning about these shenanigans.
Oh, so Romney had socialistic health care in Massachusatts?  Ancient history, people.  Now that Obama has adopted the same type of health care, it stands to reason that Romney can’t possibly hold the same position anymore.  See?  He says he wants to repeal it!  Oh, what’s that about replacing it?  Must be a typo…
Remember the horrible Lewinsky scandal, back in the days of Clinton-the-Democrat?  We should all be glad that no Republicans would ever do anything like that.  Huh?  Why are you mentioning Gingrich-the-Republican, what does he have to do with this?
Ah, so Bush raised the debt ceiling while he was president?  Who cares?  Obama has raised it more, so Bush’s actions look saintly in comparison.
Don’t you miss the good ol’ days when Republicans were in office, upholding and defending our Constitution?
Let’s stop being hypocrites, folks.  Yes, the Democrats are often more blatant in their violations of the Constitution – but that doesn’t justify the numerous faults of the Republicans.  The Constitution must be upheld and defended, no matter what color tie the current President is wearing.